But Dust and Shadows
by laurafka
Summary: Disciple AU. What if Espo and Lanie weren't the only two doppelgängers Tyson made? How do Jenny, Alexis, and Kate react to finding the bodies of their loved ones? Story told in three parts, during Disciple and possible tie in with Probable Cause. Please give me a chance, and don't forget to follow/favorite :) COMPLETE
1. in love there are two evils

**but dust and shadows**

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><p><em>"Pulvis et umbra sumus (We are but dust and shadows)"<em>

_-Horace, __The Odes of Horace_

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: Don't own Castle. Still. I doubt Marlowe will give me the rights, but a girl has to hope :)<strong>

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><p>It was a dull Thursday afternoon. The rain was pouring and Jenny Ryan swore she could see thunderclouds in the distance. In all honesty, it was a normal New York afternoon, filled with dismal, unhappy people wandering the streets, homeless people asking for money, businessmen walking home, tourists desperately looking for a cab in the wretched weather that eight million people called home. But this particular Thursday afternoon felt especially gloomy to Jenny Ryan.<p>

She had spent the day like she had spent every day for the past week, staring at the phone. Sometimes she would get up to use the bathroom or to pour a glass of water, but she always returned to the plush leather chair by the phones. Kevin had explained to her that they were working on a really tough case, and although he never said it, there was the unspoken tone of fear in his voice.

So Jenny waited. She waited for a call she hoped would never come. She hoped with every last fiber of her existence never to see Javier Esposito's number come up on the caller ID, hoping that she wouldn't hear his voice, rough and grief-filled, saying "he's dead," on the other side of the line. That was the price that came with being a cop's wife, she could always expect that phone call.

So when the landline did ring, Jenny nearly had a heart attack. She reached out one shaking, pale hand from under the blue argyle blanket that warmed her, bringing the hard piece of plastic up to her ear.

"Hello," she whispered, voice shaking.

"Hey, Jenny!" A plucky, female voice said.

Jenny frowned to herself. "Darla?" she asked inquisitively.

"Yeah, honey, it's Darla! Why? Who'd you think it was, silly?" she asked, her voice a nice comfort to Jenny, who let out a relieved giggle.

"No one," she said, releasing a bit of tension in her shoulders.

Darla, her old college roommate, chuckled on the other end of the phone. "Well, okay then, Jenny. I just wanted to let you know that I'd be in town this weekend, and I was wondering if you wanted to get together?"

Jenny sighed happily. "I'd like that. Is there anyway I can call you back a little later though? My husband's almost home."

Darla clucked on the other end of the line. "Okay, honey. Talk to you later."

Jenny promised that they would connect later, and she hung up the landline. Letting out a loud huff of relief, Jenny switched on the television. A reality show that Jenny had never heard of was on, and Jenny turned it down so she could hear the rain outside. She listened to the comforting noise, losing herself in the gorgeous weather, ignoring the reflection of mid-40s women arguing about men on her face.

She smiled to herself as she saw Kevin's car drive down the driveway. She squinted to see his face, but she couldn't make it out in the rain. She went up to the door to greet him, but instead, she found herself face to face with someone else.

"Javi," she breathed, accidentally running into his chest. "Is Kevin okay?" she asked quietly.

He nodded, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. "He needs you," the taller man whispered.

"Why?" she asked suspiciously, her eyebrows knitting together. But Javier didn't respond. He just walked through the rain, stepping into his car. Jenny jammed her swollen feet into her rain boots, threw on her raincoat that was a little too tight around the middle, grabbed an umbrella, and she ran out the door.

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><p>Javier drove for about an hour in silence. Finally, Jenny worked up the nerve to speak up.<p>

"Javi, we passed the precinct over half an hour ago," she said nervously.

"I know," he whispered, his nearly silent, husky voice was scaring her.

The sun was just beginning to set as Javier Esposito pulled up at a small, wooden fishing cabin surrounded by police cars. Jenny saw Kevin pacing back and forth in front of the yellow tape, a terrified look on his face. She ran towards him, Javier lifting up the yellow tape so she could walk through unhindered, and he held her close.

"Jenny," he whispered into her ear, burying his face in her soaking wet blonde curls.

"Kevin, please tell me what's wrong!" she exclaimed, worry creeping up her throat like a thousand spiders that he just wanted to kill for her, but he couldn't seem to. "Why am I here?"

Calmly, he let her go. "Kate needs to ask you a couple of questions," he says, trying to stabilize the shaking in his voice.

"Why, Kevin? What's going on?" Jenny was starting to get really scared.

Just then, Kate and Richard Castle emerged from the front door of the cabin. Kate took Jenny's hand, and led her inside. Those outside would note hearing a shrill scream, one that could have only come from Jenny Ryan's lips.

Kate wrapped her arm around the petite blonde girl, comforting her, hugging her even though she was soaking wet. The two of them stood alone in the cabin as Jenny cried into Kate's shoulder.

Hanging from the pole above the cash register, feet just inches above the ground, was Kevin Ryan.

Of course, it wasn't really Kevin Ryan, just someone that looked like him, but they really _looked_ like him.

"Why did you show me this?" she whispered into Kate's arm.

Kate sighed softly, switching into _comforting_ mode. "We needed to ask you a couple of questions about Detective Ryan. Also, Javi thought it would be best if Kevin had a shoulder to lean on," she added as an afterthought.

Jenny thought about this for a moment. This must have hit him harder than it hit her. Instantly she felt awful. She rushed outside and pressed her lips into his cheek, hugging him as tight as she could bear. He smiled and wrapped his arms gently around her, no umbrella covering them from the downpour of water, bouncing harmlessly off of their shoulders.

When she finally did let go, Richard Castle came over with an umbrella. Kate followed in his footsteps. Jenny smiled gratefully at the Detective and her partner. Kate smiled back, wrapping a soaked arm around the smaller girl's shoulders.

"Come on, Jenny. Let's get you dry."

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><p>Roughly an hour later, she sat alone in the question room with Kate. Jenny had insisted on being questioned by Kate, saying that Kevin needed to rest, and plus, she really liked Kate Beckett.<p>

"Where did you and Detective Ryan meet?" Kate asked calmly.

"College. But we didn't start dating until five years ago," Jenny supplemented.

"How long have you two been married?"

"Two years," Jenny said, gulping back a sob.

Kate hummed softly. The noise relaxed Jenny. It sounded like the way her mom used to hum to her when she was a baby.

"Does he have any tattoos or scars?" Kate asked calmly.

Jenny nods softly. "No tattoos, but he has a scar from where he got his appendix out. It's about an inch long, a silver shade, down his right hip," she whispered, unhappy with sharing such personal information.

Kate frowned, her pink lips parting ever so slightly with concern. "Does it look like this?"

She pulled a glossy photo out of a manila folder. She passed it to Jenny, who held onto it nervously, her hands causing the photo to shake vigorously.

"Yes, yes! It looks exactly like that!" Jenny said, her voice filling with worry.

"Okay, Jenny, I think that should be all," said Kate, an unfamiliar tone to her voice.

"That's it?" Jenny asked, voice incredulously high.

Kate nodded softly, stepping out of the interrogation room.

Jenny wondered nervously if her family would ever be the same again.

* * *

><p>"Hey girlfriend," a new voice said.<p>

Jenny looked up from where she had been tangling her fingers together to be met with the kind face of Lanie Parrish.

"Oh," she whispered. "Hi Lanie."

"You okay, honey?" Lanie asked, taking the seat across from her in the break room.

Jenny nodded unconvincingly. Then she began to shake her head so fast it looked like her blonde curls were going to go flying. Tears began to stream out of her blue eyes at light speed. Lanie wrapped her arm comfortingly around her shoulders.

"How am I supposed to…" she gulped, "we supposed to cope with this? How did you do it, Lanie?"

Lanie sighed softly, standing up and walking over to the cupboard. She pulled out two mugs, filling one with coffee, and the other with milk. She put the milk filled one in the microwave, setting the time and resuming her seat.

"Sweetie, I can't give you the answers to all of the world's problems, I'm only human myself," she said kindly, brown eyes sparkling. She smelled like cinnamon and she glowed like a star. After a brief pause of silence, the microwave beeped and Lanie stood up, softly treading over to the counter. She pulled out the cup, tapping cocoa powder into it, stirring it up and she brought it over to Jenny.

"Like I said before, I can't tell you how to live your life, but I can tell you what we did," she said, pausing only to take a sip of coffee. "Javi and I struggled at first, but we're working on it. Our… relationship, it isn't perfect, not by a long shot," she said, laughing, "but you know how hard it is to mend a wound of this size, any girl knows that. But we lean on each other. That's what the definition of love is, or even friendship. It's having someone to lean on, someone to help mend you."

Lanie stood up, patting Jenny's shoulder softy in farewell, and she left the blonde woman alone.

Jenny sat for a moment, sipping at her hot chocolate, and through the blinds she saw Kevin, sitting hunched over at his desk. She tapped the window softly, waving at him. He looked up, his blue eyes sparkling, a smile on his face, as he waved back at her.

And, with any luck, maybe they'd be okay.

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><p><em><strong>To Be Continued<strong>_


	2. he who is greedy is always in want

**but dust and shadows**

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: Still no Castle. If he sends them now, hopefully Marlowe won't have forgotten my birthday. Hopefully.<strong>

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><p>On a completely different, utterly opposite Thursday afternoon, Alexis Castle was sweeping her apartment. She was smiling and humming a tune, letting the warm sun soak into her pale skin. She was breathing in the scent of flowers, enjoying the sound of her lovely boyfriend's deep shower singing, dancing in light steps across the hardwood floor as she dragged the bristles of their all-organic broom across the melodically creaking planks. At the time, she would have said that nothing would ruin her good mood.<p>

After several minutes of cleaning, Alexis heard the shower switch off. She saw Pi's familiar face pop out of the shower door, peek around the hallway, and then shut the door. Soon, he re-opened it, scampering completely naked into their bedroom, where his clothes sat untouched.

Alexis laughed to herself as she sprayed Pi's homemade "Windex Alternative" on the window. Through the sludge of the concoction and grime, she thought she saw a red Ferrari pull up in front of the building.

Sure enough, soon there was a knock at her door. Alexis set down the bottle of "Windex Alternative", and began to head for the door. Pi beat her to it.

"Hey Mr. C!" he exclaimed as Alexis's father stepped uncomfortably into their abode.

"Hi, _Pi_," he said sarcastically, shooting Alexis a disapproving look, his dull eyes boring into hers with a witty mockery.

"Dad," she said, eyes smiling but mouth stern as she hit him softly on the arm.

"Sorry, sweetie," he said jokingly, but he didn't sound too sorry. He embraced his red-headed daughter in a warm hug, kissing the top of her head. "Hi, Lex."

"Hi, Daddy," she said with a smile. "What brings you here?"

"I'm not sure," he said, frowning softly. The frown looked wrong on his usually cheerful face. Alexis had to admit, he was a handsome man; she understood where she got her good looks. "Kate said that you and I had to meet her at a certain place in the Hamptons."

"Okay," she said.

She opened her mouth to say something, when suddenly she heard a crash from the kitchen, followed by a noise that sounded suspiciously like a banshee.

"Oh, darn!" Pi exclaimed. He was standing in the kitchen, broken glass and liquid of yellow and red surrounding him. "I was going to offer you guys a cup of my fresh mango juice, but I dropped the pitcher and cut my foot," he said, looking at the mango juice and blood on the floor. "Sorry, Mr. C," he added, looking truly apologetic.

"Do you need to go to the hospital?" Castle asked, looking slightly concerned.

Pi shook his head cheerfully. "I _think_ I'll be okay. I got to get to work, anyway."

Castle looked at the boy in dismay. "Right. Counting the _bees,"_ he said sarcastically. Alexis swatted his arm again.

"Dad! Don't make fun!"

He looked at Alexis in mock shock. "I'm not! Counting bees is an important job!"

Alexis rolled her eyes. "Do you need a ride, Pi? I'm sure my _loving_ father would be _happy_ to drop you off," she said, glaring at her dad.

She saw him whimper softly, but his eyes turned to his feet at her stare. "Yeah," he said through clenched teeth. "I'd be _delighted_ to drop you off."

"Oh, that's alright, Mr. C. I prefer to bike to work. But thanks for the offer!" he exclaimed, completely unaware of the older man's discomfort. He grabbed a unbleached brown paper towel off of the counter as he began to collect up the shards of broken glass. "Bye, Alexis!" he exclaimed.

She smiled. "Bye, Pi!"

Her dad led her out the door. She closed it behind them, and he led her to the car.

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><p>When they finally arrived in the Hamptons (only stopping once to get burritos), the sun had just reached its peak in the sky, and was just beginning to descend. The beachside store was surrounded with a sea of crime scene tape and police uniforms. Alexis had to squint to make out Kate Beckett, surrounded by Kevin Ryan and Javier Esposito as she barked out orders into her walkie.<p>

"Hi, honey," she said, kissing Castle's cheek sloppily. "Hey, Lex. Glad you could make it."

"Hi, Beckett!" Alexis exclaimed.

"Oh, sweetie, I told you, call me Kate," Kate said lovingly, smiling at the girl as if she were her own daughter. Kate really did love Alexis as a daughter, after all, she'd been very kind and approving of her relationship with her father.

"Okay, Kate," Alexis said, a smile growing on her rosy cheeks.

Kate pulled Castle over to the sidelines, leaving Alexis in the company of Kevin and Javier.

"Hi, Kev," she said with a nice smile. "Hi Javi."

"Hey, Lex," they both said in unison.

"How's college?" Kevin asked, attempting to be friendly.

Not wanting to go into detail, she simply responded, "Nice."

The boys both nodded.

"How's Jenny?" Alexis asked, remembering her father mentioning that they were expecting a child.

"She's a little shaken up, you know, because of last Thursday," Kevin said, eluding any real explanation.

Alexis found herself frowning. "What happened last Thursday?"

Kevin gulped softly, averting his eyes. Javier filled in for him. "You know, when they found his doppelganger."

This only made Alexis more curious. "Doppelganger?" she asked. The boys nodded, still unwilling to answer any questions. "Well come on, someone please explain it to me!"

Javier took a deep breath. "Well, Lex, there's a bad man who we thought we stopped, but he's started killin' again. He's been findin' people who look like us so that he can get into places, then he's been killin' them off. First, he killed a woman who looked like Lanie, so that he could get into the ME records. Then, he killed a guy who bore a resemblance to me so he could pull the 3XK records from the file room. Then, he killed a guy who looked like Kev, so he could access to the IT department and get into the online records."

"Who did he kill this time?" Alexis asked. The boys were silent again. "Oh my God! Is it someone I know?" she asked, completely astounded. Her mind jumped from family member to family member, trying to think if there was someone she had heard was missing.

"We don't know, Lex," Kevin said softly, his fatherly voice soothing her. "Only Kate's seen the body."

Suddenly, Kate and her dad walked back, both looking rather shaken.

"Did you two explain?" Kate asked, her honey brown eyes flicking between the two detectives and Alexis. They both nodded. "Okay, then. Alexis, Castle. Come with me," she said gravely.

She led them both through the mass of cops, up the stairs, and onto the patio of the beachside store.

Alexis was completely surprised to see Martha Rodgers hanging from the doorframe.

"Gram!" she exclaimed, rushing towards the hanging figure. Kate and Castle both pulled her back.

"It isn't Gram, sweetie. Just someone made to look like her," Castle said, trying to reassure his daughter.

"But _why_?" she asked angrily. "I mean, Lanie was to access the ME records, Javi was to get into the manual archives, Kev was to get the online portion, but why Gram?" Her voice reached a shrill tone.

"I don't know," Kate whispered. "Maybe to break into the loft? Castle, have you been robbed recently?"

Castle thought about it. "No, I don't think… OH MY GOD!" he exclaimed, his voice reaching a new level of fury.

"What? What is it, honey?" Kate asked, soothing her fiancée.

"Well, the other day, when I got home, I found my door unlocked, which I thought was odd, but I figured maybe Alexis and Pi came over while I was at the precinct, so I didn't think anything of it. Then, an hour later, I went to pull the copy of _Naked Heat_ off of my shelf to reference something, and it wasn't in the right place."

Kate frowned, while Alexis's eyes widened.

"So?" Kate asked. "How do you know that you didn't just… put it back in the wrong place?"

"Oh, no! I have a _specific_ organization order for my books that I drilled into the heads of everyone that lives in my house! I even made _Pi_ memorize it!"

"Okay, then," Kate said, eyes widening in surprise.

"So, after this, I went over the security footage to try and catch the dirty liar, and I saw Martha come into the apartment, and she used a phone scanner to scan all of the drafts of my upcoming Heat books. I questioned her about her methods, telling her she was welcome to borrow them whenever she wanted, but she told me she was teaching an acting class at the time and couldn't have been there!" he exclaimed.

Kate's jaw dropped. "Castle! Why didn't you mention this sooner? Do you know _just_ how much information you have about me in those books?"

"I just figured Martha was covering for some ulterior motive, and there was no real harm done, I got the drafts and books back in the right place, so I let it go," he said sheepishly.

"And this woman paid the price," Alexis finished.

* * *

><p>"Okay, Alexis, I just need to ask you a couple of questions while Kate questions your dad," Kevin said smoothly, leading her into Interrogation Room B.<p>

Alexis nodded, sitting down softly into the hard metal chair. Kevin sat across from her, a ghost of a smile on his face. Oddly, she felt calm. She realized that she only felt calm because of Kevin. He was giving off this comforting vibe, kind of like the vibe her father gave off when he went into protection mode.

She smiled at him graciously, and he returned the gesture.

"So how long have you known Martha Rodgers?" he asked, suddenly frowning at the procedural questions. "You don't have to answer these," he said sheepishly.

She smiled again.

"Do you know if she has any scars or tattoos?" he asked again, voice more firm this time.

Alexis frowned. "I know she has a C-Section scar…" Alexis's voice trailed off as her cheeks turned pink. "She also claims to have a small flower tattooed on her right butt cheek, from her 'acting days,' but I can't claim that I've seen it," she said, cheeks turning pinker with every word.

Kevin laughed heartily, writing down the words. "I think that should be it," he said, voice still filled with mirth.

Alexis smiled, a small quirk in her eyebrows forming as she realized how short the meeting was, and she stood up, walking out of the room.

"Are you alright, Lex?" he asked softly, voice ringing in her ears.

"Yes, I think I will be," she lied. He frowned at the obvious fib, but he let her go.

Alexis stepped out of the interrogation room, followed by Kevin. He walked over to Kate, and they compared results. "They both said the same thing, and both of their statements matched the autopsy," she heard Kate say, her voice echoing in her mind.

Alexis's eyes skimmed the room, looking at all of the detectives, bustling with work. Some looked sad, some looked happy, but none could compare with the grief for the woman she had never met, the one who looked just like her Gram.

How could someone ever recover from this?


	3. a picture is a poem without words

**but dust and shadows**

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: Well, my birthday has come and gone, and still no rights from Marlowe. :(<strong>

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><p>This time, it was a Wednesday morning. The weather was crisp, but nice. The fog lingered in the air, feeling musty and cold, a kind of feeling that made people want to curl up with a cup of cocoa and a good book.<p>

Unfortunately, the NYPD didn't take book holidays.

Kate Beckett kicked back another coffee as she trained her eyes onto the whiteboard. The faces of Lanie, Javi, Kev, and now Martha Rodgers stared back at her. Their eyes seemed to follow her like ghosts, lingering.

She shivered and slammed the empty cup back on the table, earning an almost unperceivable flinch from Richard Castle.

"Thanks for the coffee, Castle," she said, flashing him a toothy smile.

He smiled back at her, and for a moment, she saw the ghosts dance in his eyes, and the smug looks wiped straight off of their faces. "What is it, Beckett?" he asked, frowning.

She smiled unconvincingly, turning her eyes to the floor and shaking her head softly.

"Kate," he whispered, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"It's nothing, Castle. I just wanna catch the guy," she said, shrugging.

He wrapped his arms around her. "We will." He leaned in to kiss her, and she pulled back.

"Not here, Castle! This is the work place!" she said, smiling.

He smiled back. "Well, why don't you come on by later, and I'll try to cheer you up," he said, winking, smiling as he quoted his fiancée.

Kate blushed. "Not until I catch the killer."

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><p>The call came in on her radio right at noon. The call had startled her after 48 hours of sleepless work.<p>

"Beckett," she said aimlessly into the speaker, fumbling with the lid on _yet another_ cup of coffee.

"Really?" she exclaimed, dropping the lid. "Where?"

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><p>It was 1:30 that she and Castle finally arrived at the small beach. There were police cars and yellow crime tape surrounding a body that was washed up on the beach.<p>

"Yo! Becks!" Detective Esposito called, waving Kate over to the crime scene. "You're gonna want to see this."

Kate nodded and walked over. She stumbled on the beach, but Castle's reassuring hands caught her on the waist. "I gotcha," he mumbled, setting her right.

Esposito lifted the yellow tape to reveal a body. It was a man, tall, timelessly handsome, about 6 feet tall. His chestnut hair was pushed back in a way that was nearly comparable with Elvis. He wore an expensive (now soaked) dark grey suit and a suave purple button up shirt.

But that wasn't what scared Kate. What scared her was his face. He had the _exact_ face of Richard Castle.

Kate was aware of words floating around her, but her ears only caught onto straggles of sentences.

"ID'ed the body as Paul Dyson," said Esposito.

"Time of death around 1 am," Lanie said. _Wait,_ Kate thought to herself. _When did Lanie get here?_

Castle was silent behind her, and Kate tried to turn and look at him, but she felt her knees give out.

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><p>When Kate opened her eyes, she was on the couch in the break room. Detective Ryan was standing awkwardly in the doorframe.<p>

"Espo's waiting for you in Interrogation."

Kate rubbed her eyes. "What… what happened, Ryan?"

Ryan smiled softly, yet sadness brimmed in his gaze. "You passed out. 48 hours with no sleep is hard on you."

Kate nodded softly. With Ryan's help, she stood up and walked into the interrogation room.

* * *

><p>"He's the same as the others," Esposito remarked. "Body was <em>made<em> to look exactly like Castle."

"But why change his M.O.? I mean, why wouldn't he just… hang the body?" Kate asked quietly, stepping towards the whiteboard.

"Maybe it's a sign," a voice said behind them. Kate turned around in surprise to see Castle looking meekly at them. He had been awfully quiet that afternoon, and Kate had assumed he had gone home.

"What do you mean?"

But then he was silent.

* * *

><p>After several hours of working, Kate turned from the whiteboard to find Esposito and Ryan staring at her.<p>

"Guys…"

"Kate," they both said. "Go home. It's late. You're tired, and so is Castle. You both need to rest."

Kate tried to shake it off, but even Castle was supporting them. "Fine."

Reluctantly, she got behind the wheel. She stuck the key in the ignition and began to drive.

* * *

><p>The ride home was mostly silence, until finally, Castle spoke up.<p>

"Kate, are you going to be okay?" he asked suddenly, turning to face her.

She felt the bumps of the bridge under the wheels of her car as she responded, "No." Castle frowned, undeniable concern filling his brow. "Castle, how are we supposed to recover from something like this?"

"Kate, I don't know. Okay? I don't know. I don't have the answer. I don't know!" he exclaimed. Richard Castle looked panicked as Kate tried to soothe him.

Suddenly, all soothing was stopped as a car ran into hers.

* * *

><p>It had been two whole months since the Jerry Tyson incident. Gates made Kate swear that it was through, because, well, we all know what happened <em>last<em> time Tyson "died." But this time Kate was sure. She had shot him in the head with her own gun, felt _her_ bullet go through his skull. And then she had checked the body.

Yes. He was dead. Dead as a doornail.

They had given their press statements, patched up all loose ends, and now, the couples had begun to mend. Lanie and Javi were giving the whole "dating" thing a try. Kevin and Jenny welcomed their daughter, Sarah Grace. And Castle and Kate? They had continued on their wedding planning, trying their absolute hardest to forget the tragic events of Jerry Tyson.

Well, until the letter came.

Kate had been sitting on the couch, waiting for Castle to come back from his meeting with Gina (God, Kate really hated that woman), when she heard a knock at the door.

_Funny. He must have forgotten his keys._

She looked through the peephole, but she didn't see anyone. Frowning, she opened the door, gun in hand. All she saw was a note on the ground. She picked it up and opened it. On it was just one line, typed in old-fashioned type font. But that one line was enough to send chills through Kate Beckett's spine.

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Finished<strong>_


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